Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Fantasy Snippet I

“You don’t want to hurt me,” the buxom vampiress crooned. “Relax. You don’t need those weapons here. Put them down, and take off those stuffy helmets.”

All my men were experienced monster hunters, but her thrall was far stronger than your average vampire. They hesitated at the entrance to the little watchtower, hands loosening on spears despite the bodies strewn across the floor around us. The tower garrison had obviously died some days ago, victims of the monster that stood before us. No doubt she had turned a few of them, and intended to do the same again with us.

The watchtowers along Witslar’s long border with Dolsk were isolated, dangerous postings, but it wasn’t often that an entire garrison was wiped out like this. The tower was stout stone, its arrow slits too narrow for an intruder to enter, the main door decorated with iron spikes to prevent undead monsters from smashing it down. The trapdoor to the roof was similarly protected, and the men would have known not to open either entrance at night, so how had a master vampire gotten inside?

She was dressed like a common whore, in a low-cut blouse that exposed a hint of cleavage and a shirt so short it bared her knees. Not exactly normal. Vampires were the pampered, elite servants of the necromancers who ruled Dolsk, and one like this would normally be found wearing silk and lace rather than worn linen. Was it a disguise?

I’d heard the army was having a bit of a problem with pimps plying their trade along the border forts, but I doubted even the offer of a pretty girl would convince a garrison to open up at night. Had she somehow managed to stand in sunlight for a few minutes without burning?

No, if the necromancers ever figured that one out we’d all be dead in a matter of weeks. More likely she’d caught some poor sap looking out an arrow slit, and hypnotized him into opening a door. Though they were supposed to have three men on guard there at all times, to prevent just that sort of occurrence.

I shook my head. Those were questions for later.

I focused my will, and threw off the net of compulsion she’d woven over my team. Her gaze snapped to me as I stepped forward with my battle axe at the ready.

“Stop!” She hissed, and the web tightened around me again. “Come no closer!”

“Magda, show this bitch we mean business,” I said tightly.

“You got it boss,” came the reply from behind me. Our witch wore full plate and carried a tower shield just like the rest of the team, but she already had her left gauntlet off. She drew a silver knife carefully across her scarred palm, and raised her voice.

“Pale Lady who guards the boundary of life and death, hear your servant’s plea. By the power of my life’s blood spilled in your name, let this undead skank’s magic be broken!”

She stood in direct sunlight on the landing just outside the tower door, which should have made her immune to the monster’s retaliation. But our enemy scooped up a fallen helmet and threw it at her with such force it almost knocked her off the landing.

Fortunately Magda’s magic wasn’t the sort of thing that requires intense concentration. The vampire’s thrall unraveled almost instantly, and my men shook themselves and readied their weapons again.

“Close ranks,” I ordered. “Bravo squad, covering fire. Alpha squad, with me. Let’s burn this bitch!”

Alpha squad was eight burly men in heavy plate, armed with boar spears and battle axes. We charged across the tower’s modest entrance hall at the disconcerted vampire in a solid mass, intending to pin her down and hack her to bits. Lower-level vampires were easy prey for this sort of attack, although the tougher ones could be tricky.

She was one of the tougher ones.

She leaped over our charge, sticking to the ceiling like a spider for a moment as she picked her target. Bravo squad loosed a volley of crossbow bolts at her, but she batted aside the only one that would have hit her heart. She dropped into the middle of our formation as we brought our spears up, and her dainty fists lashed out to send armored men flying like ninepins.

Vampires are terrifying opponents at close quarters. A master vampire like this one could move like a striking snake, bending steel and smashing bones with her bare hands. Her flesh would be as tough as wood, and most blows that would kill a human would do nothing at all to her. Ordinary troops would have died before they could even react to her sudden attack.

But all of my men have trained in the Disciplines for years, and they weren’t so easy to kill. Aron got his spear into her back and ran her face-first into a wall, and Feliks rammed his spear into her shoulder in an attempt to pin her. She managed to wrench herself free just in time to catch the blade of my axe with her face.

A human would have died instantly. Vampires are tougher than that, but a split skull does tend to rattle them. She tried to jump away, having forgotten her back was to a wall, and ended up sprawling gracelessly across the floor. Justyn brought his axe down on one of her legs, neatly severing it, but got kicked across the room by the other one for his trouble. She tried to roll upright, her skull already stitching back together, but Dawid and Serafin plunged their own axes into her back. She staggered, and stumbled forward.

I brought my axe around in a whistling arc and took her head off just as Feliks planted his spear through her heart. A round of cheers went up as our opponent collapsed, but I interrupted the premature celebration.

“Stay on guard, men. There’s probably more of them, or at least a few minions. Justyn, drag the pieces out in the sun and let them burn. Magda, you alright back there?”

“Just peachy, boss,” she called from outside. “But my shield is history. You want me in there?”

I glanced about the room, noting that everyone who’d been thrown around was getting back up. No serious injuries, then.

“Nah, we aren’t going to find two masters in a place this small. Let us do the bleeding for a bit.”

4 comments:

  1. mmmh.

    I like the background stuff, but can't really say much about the characters at all.

    I was somehow hoping the vampire would win strangely.

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  2. Looks ok. Some nice hints at the background.

    With a well developed background and some decent characterisation (both of which you do pretty well going by your fanfics) this could be a very good read. That said I struggle to see how you could make this particularly unique.

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  3. A fantasy epic with a character who uses and sticks to military like protocols? I'm intrigued.

    But you'd think someone as genre savvy as this fellow would know not to tempt fate like that. I can't wait to see him have to deal with the next threat.

    My one complaint is that for one of the 'tougher' vampires she seemed to go down rather easily. But I suppose that's only meant to lull the reader into a false sense of security? Hmm. It feels incongruous, to me.

    If you can make it unique (which I trust) It'd be rather good. But It doesn't catch me as much as The Antagonist.

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  4. Has a very "Black Company" feel. I'd love to read more like, from the viewpoint of squads of more or less ordinary soldiers using sound tactics and training to beat powerful foes, as opposed to super-powered protagonists delivering beatdowns.

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